


Unconditional Things

by Sales Associate Steve (Stiney)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, College, Destiel Reverse Bang 2017, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, High School, Light Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, The '90s, mentions of Dean/others, mentions of castiel/others
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-08 05:41:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11075193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stiney/pseuds/Sales%20Associate%20Steve
Summary: Dean's not gonna spend his life being defined by some stupid soulmate mark... or his complete lack thereof. It shouldn't matter anyway, right?





	Unconditional Things

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nonexistenz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nonexistenz/gifts).
  * Inspired by [[Art] Names](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11049693) by [Nonexistenz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nonexistenz/pseuds/Nonexistenz). 



> Thank you to the AMAZING [Nonexistenz](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Nonexistenz/pseuds/Nonexistenz) for the GORGEOUS artwork!!  
> I'm sorry this has been such a bumpy road with my messy ass as a partner but I hope you enjoy the story.
> 
> A million blessings to [staircasetothesea](http://staircasetothesea.tumblr.com/) for helping me get this into a semblance of sense along the way. I'm sorry I gave u so much work, bb.
> 
> This is the first thing I've really written in almost a year and a half, sorry if it sucks.

 

**1983 – Lawrence, Kansas**

“We need to take him to a different doctor. He’s 5 years old. It should be there now.” John huffed; closing the fridge hard enough for the contents in the door to rattle. “Mine came in late and even then I was 4 years old. Something’s not right.”

“John Winchester, he’s our son and he’s perfectly healthy! It doesn’t matter if it’s not there yet.” Mary countered; voice becoming more resolute as she glanced toward the open kitchen doorway. “Even if it _never_ shows up, there still won’t be anything wrong with _Dean_.”

At the mention of his name, Dean looked up from the coloring book he had open on the living room floor. The blue crayon he’d been using to bring Cookie Monster to life on the page, clutched in his tiny fist as he focused on his parents conversation.

Even without full understanding, Dean still knew they were talking about him not having a name on his wrist yet.

Most of the time, it was grownups, speaking in low voices meant for only his Mommy and Daddy to hear.

But then there were others like Nelson Turnberry, his kindergarten classmate, who were _too loud_.

A few months before, Dean had excitedly shown off to everyone in his class, the nonsensical, magic marker scribbles he’d hurriedly given himself in his bedroom as Mary called his name for breakfast.

The other students had responded in shared joy at the reveal. All except Nelson, who had laughed and pointed out that the “dumb mark” wasn’t real.

Excitement turned to hurt and shame as more children joined Nelson’s mocking. Tears sprung to Dean’s eyes as he pulled his arm into the sleeve of his shirt to hide it from view.

Ms. Nasworthy had quickly, _blessedly_ , swooped in, and with a fierce scolding, broke up the group then deposited Nelson into timeout.

She’d then carefully ushered a crying Dean into the small restroom at the back of the classroom. After soothing then wiping away the steady stream of tears from Dean’s cheeks, she’d proceeded to clean the marker from his skin. Her voice every bit as gentle and caring as her hands.

_“You don’t need this, honey. You already are and always will be loved, even if there isn’t a name there.”_

**1994**

_“Hey Winchester!”_

At the sound of his name, Dean looked up from the battered copy of Robert A. Heinlein’s _The Puppet Masters_ , that’d held his attention as he waited for English Comp class to start.

His friend Ash, in all his mulleted glory, was peeking around the room’s doorframe and waving him over.

Dean took a quick glance at the clock before sliding out of his assigned seat, finger tucked safely in his paperback to save his place.

“You’re gonna be late to class, dude.” Dean’s gaze shifted from Ash’s grinning face to the short, chubby, dark haired boy in an oversized hoodie, standing just behind him.

“Eh’s it’s only Crowley’s class.” Ash shrugged then hooked a thumb in the unfamiliar boy’s direction. “This is my friend, Castiel. I was telling him about you in Geography yesterday.”

“Hello, Dean.” Castiel said quietly; eyes studiously focused on Dean.

With the sudden and intense attention gaze on his left wrist, Dean unconsciously reached over with his empty hand to adjust the wide band of the watch.

It was a small action that he’d performed countless times over the years. Anytime new friends started asking the questions everyone always wanted to know when meeting someone new. _If he knew or was looking for the person whose name was on his wrist_.

Though, thanks to long ago perfected distraction tactics, people were never the wiser that in Dean’s case there was actually no one to find.

Dean tensed; holding his breath and preparing for the onslaught when instead Castiel’s blue eyes went wide before flicking back up to meet his own.

“We’re reading the same book.” Castiel announced; lifting his own copy of _The Puppet Masters_ into Dean’s view. “Are you very far into it?”

A relieved laugh exploded out of Dean, chased quickly by a grin. “How far into it are you?”

“Oh, I’ve read it before but wanted a refresher before the movie came out.” Castiel excitedly offered.

“I knew you nerds would hit it off!” Ash chuckled; observing the pair.

“Bite me.” Dean flipped him the bird just as the warning bell rang.

“Mr. Winchester!”

Dean whipped around to see his Comp teacher, Ms. Moseley coming out of the faculty lounge.

“Shit.” Dean mumbled; while with a final wave, Ash and Castiel took off down the hall to their class.

“Keep your fingers to yourself and take your seat, immediately.” Ms. Moseley chastised as she made her way through the classroom doorway.

“Yes, Ma’am.” Dean followed her instructions; relieved in the knowledge that though she’d never admit it, he was really one of her favorite students.

*********

“Donald Southerland wasn’t really believable as The Old Man. I feel they only picked him for the part because of the story’s similarities to _Invasion of the Body Snatchers_. Which he was very good in.” Castiel carefully moved clothes and school books out of the way so he could sit at the foot of bed even as Dean ungracefully flopped onto his stomach at the head.

“Dude, it was awful all around. I’m pissed we wasted our money on it.” With an excessive amount of fanfare Dean huffed and grunted; righting himself on the bed then poking Castiel in the side with his socked foot. “You able to stay over again? We can get pizza and watch Jurassic Park again.”

“It’s Saturday, Dean. You know my mother won’t let me. We have church in the morning.” Castiel sighed in resignation as he got off the bed.

“Ugh, you’re 15. Shouldn’t you have a say on whether you wanna go or not? What’s your dad say?” Dean watched Castiel pick up his belongings that were scattered over the room.

“I don’t mind going.” Castiel started; pointedly ignoring the question about his father as he stuffed clothes in his back pack. “Plus, Mother wants me to set a good example for Hannah and Hael.”

“Fine. Me and Sam are just gonna have to watch Jurassic Park without you then.” Dean declared; rolling from his spot on the mattress, to his feet.

“You suck.” Castiel grumbled; opening the door and starting down the hallway.

“Are you boys ready for pizza?” Mary asked; looking away from the TV when the pair entered the living room.

“Yeah but Cas is a loser who can’t stay so I get his share.” Dean pushed Castiel toward the front entryway.

“Thank you, again for letting me stay last night, Mrs. Winchester.” Castiel said; shrugging into his ever present and ugly, tan trenchcoat.

“Of course, honey! You’re always welcome to stay.” Mary answered as Castiel waved goodbye and closed the door behind him.

*********

“You really think you can beat me?” Dean laughed; bouncing back and forth. Sneakered feet scuffing against the blacktop of the track field.

Castiel _incredulously_ glared for a brief moment then bolted as soon as Coach Singer blew the whistle to signal the beginning of the 3-mile run.

“Son of a bitch!” Dean growled; setting off after his friend.

“You sure you ain’t too hot running in that heavy sweatshirt, Cas? You’re slowing down a bit.” Dean teased; only able to pull a fraction ahead before Castiel caught up.

“I’m more than fine. You look a little winded, though.” Castiel huffed; sweat matting dark bangs to his forehead.

“Whatever.” Dean grunted in response, trying to ignore the stitch radiating from beneath his ribs, as he focused on the track ahead.

“Dude” Dean barked in annoyance as a half a lap later Castiel slammed into his side; sending them both veering off course.

The laughing words, _‘You’re such an asshole.’_ were on the tip of Dean’s tongue until he noticed the sickly palor his friend’s skin had taken just before his eyes rolled up into his head and he crumpled to the ground.

“Cas!” Dean shouted as he went down to his friend’s side, oblivious to the way the rough ground dug into his bare knees.

“Move! Everyone get back!” Coach Singer’s command had the crowd dispersing even as Dean stayed put, hand cradled, creating a barrier between the hot asphalt and the back of Castiel’s head.

“What happened, boy?” Singer asked; coming to a crouch next to Dean.

“I don’t know. He…” The audible dry clicking of his throat was the only answer.

_“Dean?”_

The sound of his name in Castiel’s familiar tone had Dean’s heart tumbling back into its place in his chest.

“Hey, buddy.” He could feel the strain of the offered smile as Castiel tried to sit up. “No, no stay put, ok?”

Castiel confusedly look around then locked eyes with Dean again. “What happened?”

“Well I was clearly beating you, so you decided to take the dramatic route of falling out so it wouldn’t happen.” Dean tried keeping mirth in his voice even though the whole situation scared the absolute shit out of him.

“It’s hot as balls out here, man. Let’s get these sleeves rolled up so you can get some air until Nurse Harvelle gets here.” Dean reached for the heavy material only to have Castiel come fully out of his confusion with a sharp shout of, “NO!” as he yanked his arm away from Dean’s grasp.

“Whoa, um, ok?” Taken aback; Dean lowered his hands then defensively snapped; “I was just trying to help.”

Castiel tightly gripped his sleeves in his palms and glanced up miserably. “Dean, I’m sorry. I just…”

“Alrighty, boys. I’m glad everyone’s awake, but I’m gonna need Castiel in this chair.” Nurse Harvelle ordered with no room for debate as she moved the wheelchair into view.

*********

After the gym class incident, a painful awkwardness set in between them. A giant wall popping up that divided what had, in a very short time, become one of the most important relationships in Dean’s life.

They still hung out at school but Castiel had pointedly avoided Dean off school grounds. Always finding one excuse or another to keep his distance.

_*Plink*_

Dean adjusted the pillow over his head as he rolled onto his back. He had a Geography test in the morning and really needed the sleep that was eluding him because Crowley was a dick who wouldn’t allow make up tests.

_*Plink…Plink*_

“The fuck?” Dean jerked out of the bed and threw the curtains back to peer into the pitch black night.

_*Plink*_

A small rock bounced off the glass and Dean focused on the dark direction it’d come from. A figure was standing at the base of the tree, a _familiar_ figure.

“Cas! What the hell?” Dean hissed as he flung the window open. His parents would kill him if they woke up.

“I need to talk to you.” Castiel didn’t wait for a response before he started climbing the tree and was soon after tumbling through the window onto the bedroom carpet.

“Dude, this couldn’t wait until tomorrow?” Dean huffed in exasperation. “Did you forget Crowley’s test that we _both_ can’t fail?”

Without answering, Castiel shoved up the sleeve of his hoodie, left arm exposed by the moonlight that filtered in, creating a spotlight on the empty skin of his wrist.

_“Oh.”_

Dean had gone his whole life hiding the fact his wrist was just as blank. No one outside of his family knew, mostly thanks to coverings like the thick watch that sat on his wrist even during the middle of the night.

_He’d never met anyone else without a mark._

Dean felt all of the tenseness of the last couple of weeks crumble as a relieved laugh burst out of him.

The action had anger quickly replacing the fright that’d been on Castiel’s face, then his fist collided with Dean’s nose.

“WHAT THE FUCK?” Dean didn’t even try and regulate his voice as he reached up to his assaulted nose.

“How could you? We’re supposed to be friends! I thought I could trust you with this.” Castiel hissed.

“Goddammit, Cas. Look you idiot!” Dean ripped his watch off and shoved his bare wrist into his friend’s face.

“Oh.” Castiel tentatively reached out and ran fingers against Dean’s skin. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”  

“Really, Cas?” Dean rolled his eyes. “Hi, I’m Dean Winchester and I’m a blank weirdo. Nice to meet you.”

_This time Castiel was the one to start laughing._

**September 1995**

“Hey you ok?” Dean asked as he slid into the seat next to Castiel at the cafeteria table.

“I’m fine.” Castiel said; though his hair standing up more than usual and the dark circles under his eyes pointed to the opposite.

“Yeah? Because you look like hammered crap, buddy.” Dean stole a fry off of Castiel’s tray with ease, an even surer sign that he wasn’t even remotely, “fine”.

“C’mon.” Dean grabbed onto Castiel’s backpack, easily maneuvering his friend along until they stopped at a secluded table in the very back of the library.

“Talk to me.” Dean urged; facing Castiel who let out a heavy sigh.

“My parents have been fighting a lot lately and last night was really bad.” He shifted uncomfortably. “They were so loud they woke Hannah and Hael but that didn’t even stop them.”

Looking down at his hands, Castiel’s next sentence came out in barely a whisper. “My father left.”

“Shit.” Dean knew all too well about fighting parents. Hell, his Dad had up and left a dozen times but he’d always returned home, tailed tucked between his legs. “He’ll be back. He’ll probably be there by the time you get home from school.”

He bumped shoulders with Castiel who only nodded morosely.

**_*****_ **

_Chuck Shurley did not, in fact, come home_

**_*****_ **

**_*Ring, Ring, Ring*_ **

“Winchester house. This is Dean.” Dean announced as he quickly snatched the receiver from its place on the kitchen wall.

_“Dean.”_

“Cas! Hey are you on the way over? Mom got the meatloaf you like so much for dinner.” He said; carelessly swinging the phone cord around.

_“I can’t.”_

“You can’t? Cas, you sound weird, man. What’s going on?” Dean didn’t even flinch when the cord hit him square in the face.

_“Dean, I’m sorry. We’re…we’re going to stay with my Aunt Hester.”_

“Like for the weekend?” Dean questioned.

 _“No, to stay. Mother thinks it’s best to be near family right now. I’m so sorry.”_ The wet, miserable ton of Castiel’s voice had Dean’s throat constricting as his eyes started to burn.

“But you’ll stop by before you go, right?” He clenched the phone tight to the point his knuckles were pale.

_“I don’t think I can. We’re leaving right now. I’m sorry, I wish I could. I have to go, my mother is calling for me. I’m sorry, Dean.”_

As the dial tone blared in his ear, Dean slammed the phone into its cradle.

“Fuck you!” He snarled at the inanimate object.

_“Dean Henry Winchester!”_

Ignoring his father’s shout from the other room, Dean stormed up the stairs to his room.

_How could Cas do this? Leave without coming to say goodbye? They were supposed to be best friends._

The heat from his eyes spilled burning streaks down his cheeks that he tried to hide in his pillow when a knock came at his door.

“Dean? Are you ok?” Sam’s pitchy voice, laced with concern, filtered through the wood.

“Go away, bitch!” Dean snarled; mortification causing his face to flare up even more.

“You’re such a jerk! I’m telling mom!” His younger brother shouted before footsteps took off down the hallway.

Dean braced himself for the angry, thundering approach of his father, but instead, awhile later his mom’s soft tapping came at his door.

“I’m coming in.” Mary announced.

 Dean tried to burrow under his covers more but didn’t get far before his mom’s hands were sweeping the blanket away, exposing the embarrassment of her crying 16 year old son.

“Honey, what happened?” Any upset she’d had at his outburst, melted away and was instantly replaced with concern.

“Cas left.” Dean near sobbed; rolling onto his side so he didn’t have to face his mother.

**May 1997**

“Hey Winchester! Who are you taking to prom?” Victor asked as he slammed his locker shut.

“Me, myself and I. The best date there is. Guaranteed to put out, too.” Dean chuckled, waggling his right hand in his friend’s face.

“You’re a disgusting heathen.” Bela’s disgust filled British accent broke through the crowd as she made her way to Victor’s side.

“I’m awesome. You’re just mad that you had to settle for Vic, here.” Dean winked; slapping Victor on the shoulder before making his way toward his Biology class.

He didn’t mind going alone to his Senior Prom, even if all his friends had dates.

It didn’t bother him that he didn’t _really_ date at all.

He’d tried a couple of times to make something.

Most notably with Lisa last year but it’d fizzled out when the _Mark_ on her wrist had shown up in her Home Ec class.

Dean had come to terms a long time ago that he maybe wasn’t cut out for the whole _love_ thing. It was probably why after 17 years, his wrist remained a complete blank.

*********

“Dean, you’ve got mail!” Mary grinned widely when Dean walked into the living room that afternoon.

“Mom, you’re seriously creeping me out right now.” He responded while taking the letter from her outstretched hand.

 

 **Castiel Shurley**  
401 NW Garrison Street  
Columbia, Missouri 65201

**Dean Winchester**  
                                                1138 Antilles Court  
                                                Lawrence, Kansas 66044

 

“Holy shit.” In surprise, the words unconsciously dropped out of his mouth. “Sorry, Mom, Sorry!”

With a mock weary sigh, Mary waved him off and he didn’t let the chance pass, going up the stairs two at a time, envelope clutched tight in his fist.

**_Two years_ **

He hadn’t heard a word from Castiel in two years’ time.

Time that had somehow dulled the loss that Dean, at one point, thought he’d never recover from.

His hands shook as he opened the letter. Cas’ sloppy handwriting staring back at him like nothing had changed.

_Hello Dean,_

_I hope this letter finds you well. I know we haven’t talked in a very long time and the last few years have been a challenge for me. Made especially more so by my letting us lose touch. I see now that things wouldn’t have been so difficult if I’d had our friendship to fall back on._

Dean’s stomach twisted, fingers wrinkling the edges of the paper as he continued reading.

_“With graduation coming up I’ve been busy preparing for classes at the University of Missouri in the fall but I hope that at some point this summer we may be able to see each other. Until then hopefully we can talk on the phone. My number is 555-867-5309._

_Castiel_

 

Dean’s entire body hummed with excitement and anticipation as he shouted through his open door. “MOM! Can I please call Cas?”

“Keep it under 15 minutes!” Mary’s reply filtered up the stairs.

At the approval, Dean flopped back onto his bed and reached for the phone on his nightstand. After shakily dialing the numbers he tapped a tuneless beat against the plastic receiver as the connection rang.

***Click***

_“Shurley residence, this is Castiel. How may I help you?”_

The new gravelly pitch of his friend’s voice had Dean shocked.

_“Hello?”_

Shaking himself out of his stupor, Dean laughed. “Damn, Cas u been gargling with rocks or something?

A sharp intake of breath came across the line. _“Dean?”_

“The one and only.” Dean couldn’t control the grin nearly splitting his face in half.

_“How are you?”_

“I’m awesome! Man, it’s good to hear you.”

**July 1997**

Dean had been so blown away that his Dad allowed him to take the Impala on the drive to Columbia to visit Castiel, that he hadn’t even cared that Sam had begged to tag along.

He tried to ignore the way his entire body buzzed with nervous energy as he looked around the mall’s food court, impatiently waiting to get a glimpse of his friend.

_What if Castiel didn’t recognize him? What if he didn’t…_

“There’s Cas!” Sam excitedly pointed before beginning to wave.

Dean tracked the direction; stomach doing a somersault when his eyes landed on Castiel.

**_Holy Shit. Cas had gotten hot._ **

‘Hello, Dean. Sam.” Castiel approached their table and nodded between the brothers while Dean still stared.

There was no sign of the short, slightly chubby boy who Dean’d met over Heinlein. A growth spurt has shot Castiel straight up. The track running that he’d fallen in love with Freshman year had clearly worked out for him, transforming his build lean and strong.

Sam’s sudden elbow to his ribs jump started Dean’s brain and moved him forward into Castiel’s space.

“Heya, Cas.” Dean awkward shoulder pat turned into an even more awkward hug when Castiel leaned in and brought his arms around his body tightly, causing Dean to stumble slightly.

“Looking good, buddy.” Dean could have kicked himself as the words tripped out of his traitor mouth, causing Sam to let out a knowing laugh as he and Castiel parted.

“It’s good to see you both.” Castiel smiled; running a hand through his still messy dark hair. “Are you ready for _Starship Troopers_?”

*****

“They should stop making movies out of Heinlein books.” Castiel said glumly before taking a bite of his burger.

“No way, dude! That was awesome! Way better than _The Puppet Masters_.” Dean adamantly disagreed.

“Dean, can I go play in the arcade?” Sam asked; putting his lunch garbage on his tray.

“Yeah, go ahead, but don’t go anywhere else.” Dean ordered; taking money out of his pocket and putting it into his brother’s waiting hand.

After Sam ran off to the bright, loud arcade alcove of the mall, Dean turned back to find Castiel staring at him intently.

“What’s up, man?” He could feel his face heating up at the inspection.

Castiel shook his head and offered a small smile. “Nothing. I’m just glad you came.”

Hand sliding to the back of his neck, Dean nodded “Yeah, me too. You should visit Lawrence before school starts. Mom would love to see you.”

“I’d very much like that. I’ll definitely talk to my mother to see if I can.” Castiel said; eyes sliding to just over Dean’s shoulder.

“Awesome. We should try and hang out as much as possible because I’m sure college is gonna kick my ass.” Dean leaned back in his chair as he finished his food.

“You’ll do fine, Dean.” Castiel pointed out. “You’re smarter than you give yourself credit.”

“Eh, we’ll see about that.” Dean shrugged. “Mechanical engineering is hard shit.”

He watched while Castiel’s focus again was pulled away from their conversation.

“What are you staring at, man?” Dean turned and caught sight of two young boys laughing their asses off as they tumbled out of a photo booth near the food court entrance.

“C’mon.” Dean stood and started in the machine’s direction.

Reaching the booth he stepped around the boys as they cackled at whatever ridculousness appeared in the photos that’d just been processed.

“After you.” Dean pulled the curtain aside and gestured Castiel in.

Following right behind, Dean immediately regretted the decision as he squeezed into the tiny space next to his friend.

“I think we might be too big for this.” Dean was nearly jostled off the seat when Castiel bent forward to feed money into the machine.

“There’s plenty of room.” Castiel responded; squinting straight ahead at the screen.

“That’s gonna be a boring ass photo, Cas.” Dean said as the camera flashed. “Son of a bitch.”

At his outburst, Castiel pulled a face that had Dean laughing, head tossed back in mirth.

“Ok, ok c’mon, smile.” Dean bumped Castiel’s shoulder, leaning into his friend’s space with a smile at the final flash.

The heat of Castiel pressed against his side had Dean’s heart rate spiking. Especially when Castiel turned slightly, eyes flicking to Dean’s mouth then back up, question loud in his gaze.

Dean’s tongue darted out to wet his lips, hand firmly grasping Castiel’s arm as he leaned forward in invitation.

“Dean!” The curtain flung back and the pair jerked apart as Sam, unaware of what he’d interrupted, glanced at them. “Can I have some more money?”

“Gimme a second.” Dean rasped; the moment officially over as he climbed out of the small, enclosed space.

By the time Sam ran back to the arcade and Dean turned back around. Castiel held their photos; the four successive images showing them smiling at each other more than at the camera.

**_March 1998_ **

_“I think I found my ruby slipper!”_

Dean looked up as Charlie squealed while falling into the seat next to him in the quiet computer lab.

“Shhhh!” Came the order from Becky, the computer tech.

“Sorry!” Charlie said loudly, then turning to Dean whispered, “Dorothy.” Then pointed at her wrist. “She’s in my psych class and is super cute.”

“That’s great, Charlie.” Dean half-heartedly responded.

He was happy for his friend, truly, but ever since the near kiss with Castiel and the subsequent complete ignoring of it, the blank spot on his wrist gnawed at him like never before.

Dean understood that pretending the kiss didn’t almost happen between them was probably for the best. He’d already lost Castiel once and didn’t think he’d be able to do it again if they went forward and things inevitably got fucked up.

If they’d been meant to be more than just friends, the universe would have put their names on each other’s skin, just like everyone else on the damned planet.

So keeping Castiel close, as his best friend was and would have to be enough for Dean.

“Just because you may not have found _the person_ yet,” Charlie tapped at the ever present watch band covering Dean’s wrist. “Doesn’t mean you can’t still see what’s out there. I mean what about Aaron? You guys were super cute last semester.”

“Nah.” Dean shook his head resignedly.

Aaron had been nice, actually more than. Which was the entire problem. Dean couldn’t continue a relationship that he knew from the start wasn’t going to work out. Aaron was a great guy but the more they hung out the more Dean realized he was using the other young man as a placeholder. A placeholder for someone who had a seat waiting by Dean’s side, despite his insistence of not revealing his feelings and rocking the boat of their friendship.

“I’m good, Charlie. I swear.” His manufactured grin turned more organic when an email from Castiel in his inbox caught his attention. “Hey, Cas is coming up this weekend. You should come out with us.”

“Ooooo, I’ll finally be able to meet the mysterious Cas.” Charlie gasped in mock surprise. “I was honestly starting to think he was just your imaginary friend, à la _Drop Dead Fred_.”

“Shut up.” Dean laughed as he typed a response to Castiel.

**_*****_ **

Days later, Dean smiled widely while Castiel and Charlie chattered excitedly amongst themselves. He’d barely got a word in edgewise since introducing the pair. Between their discussion of Star Wars theories and Charlie painstakingly explaining, then inviting Castiel to Moondoor’s tournament the following month.

Not that he was complaining, _in the least_. He was more than happy that his two best friends had hit it off so well.

*****

“Charlie is very nice. I enjoyed finally meeting her.” Castiel said, climbing into the top spot on Dean’s bunk bed when they finally made it home on Saturday night.

“Yeah, man, she’s an awesome chick.” Dean crawled under the covers then stared at the mattress above his head while Castiel shifted around to get comfortable.

Nearly falling asleep, Dean perked up when a deep sigh from Castiel reached his ears.

“Are you planning on asking Charlie out? I think you two would be good together.” Castiel finally spoke, the pitch of his voice strained as he attempted to keep up a false sense of favor.

“Dude!” Dean slapped the bottom of the bunk. “No, man. Charlie’s gay. I thought I told you that.”

“You didn’t.” Castiel’s face, suddenly appeared over the railing, upside down and awash with relief.

“Besides I’m not looking for any of that crap. Getting my ass through school is the only thing I’m worried about right now.” Dean continued; not fully believing his own words.

“Yes that’s probably for the best.” Castiel agreed blandly. The dark of the room masking the disappointment that flickered over his features as he righted himself back on his bunk and out of Dean’s view.

**_*****_ **

**_November 1999_ **

“Christ, Dude. You gotta let me fix the shocks on this thing.” Dean grumbled as he climbed out of the passenger seat of Castiel’s Lincoln Continental.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Dean. My car is perfectly fine.” Castiel defended; tan trench coat whipping in the cold winter wind as they walked toward the entrance of the brightly lit diner.

‘You’re full of shit. People probably lose teeth from the rattle every time they get in that death trap.” Dean huffed in offense; opening the door and allowing Castiel to pass.

“My car is perfectly safe. No worse than your Impala.” Castiel said; sliding into a booth and plucked a menu from the holder as Dean sat down opposite him.

“Don’t you dare bring my baby into this!” Dean pointed an accusing finger in Castiel’s direction.

_“I don’t understand why you bother with that thing. You’re just gonna order the same thing you always get when you’re here.”_

Dean looked up at the highly amused voice of waitress that’d seemingly appeared out of nowhere to take care of them.

“Good evening, Daphne.” Castiel nodded in her direction; then returned to his diligent inspection. “I never know. It might be the day that something different catches my eye.”

The menu may have held Castiel’s consideration but Dean immediately noticed the smitten look on the waitress’ pretty face.

“Well, Daphne, I’ll start out with a Coke.” Dean announced; even as Daphne’s focus expectantly stayed on Castiel.

“I’ll have a…”

“A double chocolate shake.” Daphne finished with a grin.

“Yes. Thank you.” Castiel affirmed as she beamed triumphantly.

“Told you so.” She winked then turned from their table to fill their drink orders.

Before she moved fully passed, Dean caught the tail end letters, _“EL”_ , in a fancy script on her wrist.

“You come here that much, Cas?” He inquired; stomach twisting with sour dread even as he pushed forward with questions he may not want the answers to.

“I do frequent it but I think my being a creature of habit makes it easy to remember my order.” Castiel put the menu away as Daphne returned to their table.

Dean watched as she smiled widely at his best friend. Every inch of her body language screaming her interest.

“I’ll just have whatever Cas is getting.” Dean said miserable when she finally pulled her attention away from Castiel, even momentarily.

“That’s easy enough. I’ll be back in a bit.”

Dean pointedly didn’t attempt a better look at her wrist, not wanting to confirm what he already knew was there.

“Are you alright? You don’t look well.” Concern etched lines into Castiel’s brow as he studied Dean.

“Not feeling so hot all of a sudden. I think I might skip out of dinner and head back to Lawrence early.” Dean starting scooting out of the booth. Shame and heartbreak bringing color to his face even as he felt helpless against his immaturely jealous actions.

“Early? Dean it’s 10:30 pm! It’s too late to drive all that way. Let’s go back to my apartment then you can leave in the morning.” Castiel waved a hand toward the opposite direction of the diner as he moved to Dean’s side. “Daphne, can you please cancel our order. My friend isn’t feeling well and I want to get him home right away.”

“Oh, ok.”

The scale of disappointment on Daphne’s face, sent Dean rushing out of the diner, leaving Castiel to stare after him in confusion.

**_*****_ **

_“Where’s the angel?” Dean growled into the twisted face of another creature whose only response was a short lived laugh, cut off when his head toppled from his shoulders thanks to Dean’s blade. Blood splashing the washed out atmosphere with bright red._

_“Where’s the angel?”_

_The rust red of Dean’s jacket growing ever darker with spilt blood._

_Every day just like the one before._

_Until his question is answered by a familiar form crouched on a muddy river bank._

_“Cas!” Dean shouted; hurrying down the embankment, dirt and rocks skittering loose under his boots._

_“Dean?” The angel got to his feet, eyes wary, as if the sight in front of him might turn out to be a mirage._

_“Where the hell have you been?” Dean asked; reaching his friend’s side and not waiting for an answer as he pulled him in for a bone crushing hug.” Fuck it. I don’t even care. Let’s just go home.”_

_Home._

_And they were nearly there. Wind whipping debris dangerously passed as the blindingly blue light of the portal beckoned them home._

_“Cas, c’mon!” Dean shouted over the deafening noise; hand outstretched as he stepped toward the way out of this torturous place._

_The wind picked up even more and Dean could feel himself being pulled into the portal. He desperately reached for Castiel but failed to make solid contact. Fingers leaving burning trails over each other’s wrists as they tried to grasp for purchase. Their hands unable to interlock before Dean was yanked through._

_Everything went dark around Dean as he lost sight of his friend’s terrified face._

**_“Cas!”_ **

Dean sat bolt upright in bed, blankets twisting around his body as his heart hammered and sweat broke out all over his body.

**_Cas was gone._ **

The sorrow that engulfed him was so profound and soul crushing that he began to cry. Sobs dangerously teetering on wails shook his body; fingers helplessly raking against the soft mattress beneath his hands.

“Dean?” His name followed by a tentative knock loosened the fierce stranglehold sleep had on him. A shuttering breath left his lungs as awareness and realization had his senses trickling back to him.

“Dean! Do you want this phone or not? It’s Cas!” Sam’s irritated voice called out.

“Yeah,” His reply was rough; throat raw from shouting. “Yeah, Sam.”

The door opened and Sam came in and handed him the cordless phone. Face full of the questions he surely wanted to ask but didn’t; instead leaving the room while Dean wiped tears from his cheeks.

 _“Hello? Dean?”_ Castiel sleep fuzzy grumble came over the line. _“Are you alright?”_

“What?” Dean asked in confusion.

_“I… I dreamed you were calling out my name. Something was wrong and I couldn’t reach you.”_

“What?” His heartbeat that had just started slowing down, picked back up double time at the strange confession from his friend.

There was no way Castiel could have known. It was a dream. Something people didn’t _literally_ share.

_“It’s stupid. I’m sorry I woke you, Dean. Go back to sleep and we’ll talk later.”_

“Wait!” Dean said; even as the disconnect tone began buzzing in his ear.

He started to dial Castiel’s number but stopped short when he caught an unfamiliar flash of dark lines on his left wrist.

Hands shaking, he pulled the watch band off and revealed the blank area he’d had his entire life, was no longer so.

In bold black was **CASTIEL**.

The skin around the letters of his best friend’s name was red and a low stinging pain emanated into his palm and up his forearm.

“The fuck?” Dean muttered at a loss. This wasn’t something that happened.

He remembered a point when he was young and had briefly become worried about not having a soulmate mark. He’d spent countless hours secretly researching what little material there was on people without them, to no avail.

Now his best friend’s name sat deep and solid on his wrist like it’d been there from the very beginning.

_It had to be a mistake. There was no other explanation._

Misery set in as Dean determinedly slid his watch back into place. Choosing to ignore the fact his whole life had just been turned upside down.

**_*****_ **

The living room TV sat unwatched, even though it was playing Dr. Sexy reruns. Dean being too preoccupied with the Mark, now hidden by his watch, that’d appeared that morning.

He’d scrubbed during his earlier shower, achieving nothing but making the freshly marked skin more irritated.

He’d covertly poked at it all afternoon and at one point had nearly broken down and asked him his mom for help after she’d gently and lovingly ruffled his hair on her way passed the couch he’d been laid out on.

Thankfully, that notion had passed quickly before he’d made a fool of himself.

He’d also done pretty well in quelling the urge to call Castiel. Which was the normal reaction when he’d had a problem. Except this was a big, bold issue that his friend sat square in the middle of.

Maybe he should call Charlie.

Except she’d probably start freaking out about how _awesome_ the entire situation was.

**_*Ding Dong*_ **

Dean went back to rubbing his index finger under the leather band. Someone else in the house could answer the door.

**_*Ding Dong*_ **

By the time it rang a second time he remembered the rest of his family had left to do various things for the afternoon.

Dean grudgingly pulled up himself from the couch and answered the door only to find a harried and anxious looking Castiel standing on the welcome mat. Backlit by the bright summer sun, Castiel’s crown of messy, dark hair almost appeared to be a halo.

“Cas?” He quickly let go of the door when Castiel’s gaze traveled to the wrist of the hand holding it open.

“Dean. We need to talk.” Castiel matter of factly said; moving passed him into the house.

“What’s up?” Dean’s voice cracked as he tried and failed for nonchalance.

“Dean, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had. But not just that. You’re my family. I care a great deal for you and your well being.” Castiel stared up at him from where they stood, way too close to one another, in the dark of the curtain drawn living room. “I love you. I have for a very long time. I didn’t want to risk losing our friendship. But I can’t deny my feelings any longer.”

Castiel took a shaky breath then continued. “I don’t know what happened this morning. All I know is I woke to you crying out for me. I could hear you as clearly as if you’d just been lost in another room of my apartment. Then this happened.”

Dean watched with wide eyes as Castiel pulled up the sleeve of his ever present, even in the dead heat of summer, trench coat and revealed **DEAN** on his left wrist.

“ _Cas._ ” All pretense of stoicism, of doing the “right thing”, melted away and Dean desperately wrapped Castiel in a hug.

“I dreamed I lost you. I tried…I tried holding on but I couldn’t. I lost you.” The crisp scent of Castiel’s rosemary and mint shampoo tickled Dean’s nose as he burrowed closer, arms tightening around Dean’s waist.

“I’m here, Dean. I promise I’ll stay by your side as long as you’ll allow.” The muffled declaration of devotion made his heart swell.

Dean pulled back slightly so he could make fast work of the band clasp; watch thumping to the soft carpet below and exposing his marked wrist to Castiel’s awed gaze.

“Glad you feel that way, ‘cause I really want you to stick around.” Dean huffed a relieved laugh; hands bracketing Castiel’s face. Their foreheads briefly bumping together as they both leaned in for the first, _of the countless amount that lay ahead in their long, happy future_ , kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> This is not the story I started out to write for the DRB.  
> I had something completely different planned then this one punched me in the face and took over.  
> Most of the events in the story are actually based off of real life events that happened to me.  
> Sooooooo I'm dedicating this story to the person who inspired this fic but will NEVER know because I'm not telling.  
> Maybe on the next go-round of the Tower the two of us will get the same happy ending as Dean and Castiel.  
> Fic title from Alanis Morissette's [Head Over Feet](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBgP44KEf3Q).


End file.
